mr-knowitall's Diaryland
Diary
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Think Before You Vote... (A Joke)
New Page 1
While walking down the street one day, a female senator is tragically hit by
a truck and dies. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at theentrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a
problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, sowe're not
sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you
spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend
eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts her to the
elevator. And she goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open, and she finds
herself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and
standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked
with her. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet her,
hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at
expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on
lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a
very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before she realizes it, it is time to go
Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator
goes up, up, up, and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for
her.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a
group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and
singing. They have a good time and, before she realizes it, the 24 hours have
gone by, and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, choose the
place where you want to spend eternity."
She reflects for a minute and then answers: "Well, I would never have said it, I
mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator, and she goes down, down, down to
Hell. Now, the doors of the elevator open, and she is in the middle of a barren
land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. And it's hot, hot, hot.
Sweltering hot. Hot and miserable. The Devil comes over to her and lays his arm
on her neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here, and there was
a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great
time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look
miserable."
The Devil looks at her, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...today
you voted for us."
9:24 a.m. - 2004-08-09
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